Knowing
by Tsubakileigh
Summary: Sasuke's back, the war's ended and there's only one thing left to do: mend. The only problem is Sakura's finally accepted Sasuke can't love her, so she'll love him secretly. She'll support him, guide him and even watch him walk away if she has to. It's up to Sasuke to realize he's the only one who can stop the breaking of her heart, but is he capable of love again?
1. Knowing

A/N: This is my first fanfic in almost five years, but I've always been a huge SasuSaku fan. This chapter is just an introduction and is my vision of Chapter 699 in Naruto.

Summary: Now that the war is over, Sasuke's finally returned, but with a heart shattered and thoughts frazzled. Sakura, however, is there to help mend him, support him, and if necessary, watch his back leave one more time. Can Sasuke learn to love Sakura as she has loved him, or will she always love someone only capable of ever saying "Thank you"?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any affiliations with the franchise.

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><p><em>Please… please… Kami have mercy!<em> Sakura frantically thought as she moved through the woods with Kakashi on her side. He could feel her anxiety… or was it his? He wasn't sure, not that it mattered in the end. The silence was eerie, certainly unwelcome between the two ninja. At least a battle cry was proof enough that someone was alive, but this silence!

_If only one of you would make noise! Sasuke, Naruto!_ Sasuke and Naruto had finally come into view as Sakura and Kakashi stopped on the side of the crater. Sakura's eyes darted, her actions couldn't keep up with her thoughts, and her thoughts couldn't keep up with her emotions, Damn it all to hell! Was all she could muster in her frazzled state; that was until her eyes landed on their goal, the two of them there were.

_Oh, God._ She made sure Kakashi could support himself, making quick eye contact him was a mistake, that look he gave her. Almost as if saying to prepare for the worst, not what she needed! _Ugh, Kakashi!_ She practically tripped over own feet getting down the gapping drop from where she was to where her most important people were. She stopped just before them, her facial expression concerned and broken.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto chimed. _Air._ Sakura had to remind herself to breathe, she wasn't sure when she forgot to inhale but she definitely didn't remember until she saw Sasuke's eyes and heard Naruto's voice.

She was still going at 110, the notion of seriously considering anything upon finding her best friend and the love of her life alive was out of the question. What felt like an eternity of silence to Sakura must have only been a few moments to the world, but she welcomed it. Only minutes ago her mind was bombing with thoughts, terrible, terrible possibilities and little hope. Her heart, still pounding against her ribs, had begun to slow, and as she allowed her remaining chakra to swell in her hands, she numbed. She didn't recognize her eyebrows furrowing, nor did she feel it when she bit through the side of cheek. To her, the world was still, her boys were alive, and she was… well she wasn't sure what she was but she was next to them, and for now, that was enough.

She had almost completely lost herself in thoughts of nothingness, almost completely numbed her heart after the events of the war and events of her personal life, when he spoke.

"Sakura, I…" Sasuke mustered.

"Don't… I need to concentrate." Sakura said quietly.

Part of her cursed mentally, she wanted to snap at him, dammit! She couldn't believe him! How indecisive can you be, do you want to kill your best friend and ignore my existence or do you want to accept you're a part of our lives?! Yet, hearing her name from his lips almost completely shattered her. It confused her, she was happy, she was angry, she just wanted an answer! It hurt, however, thinking of an answer.

In that split second, she knew. She knew she was just a teammate. She was just the right piece to fit the three man team puzzle. Never had Sasuke needed her, not once did Naruto need her. She wasn't necessary during anything, just after, just like right now. Help in combat? No, of course, why ask the only, new female sanin who surpassed Tsunade for anything in combat? The importance of her friendship? Forget that, too. She was nothing to him in comparison to Naruto's friendship and knew she never would be. He hadn't hesitated to "basically" ripping her chest out to make sure she stayed away from him and Naruto's big finale aka just the biggest fucking confirmation of their friendship she'd ever seen. She knew. She knew she loved someone who would never love her back. She knew she would always watch him, support him, and love him even if he were to love someone else. She knew she wasn't the one Sasuke wanted and it hurt more than anything she could imagine.

He knew she was lost in thought, otherwise she'd be showing more facial expression or giving herself away somehow that she knew he was watching her. Sasuke just soaked her in, he was tired, but she was here and he couldn't look away from her. He had messed up, he messed up so bad but somehow not only was Naruto here but Sakura was rushing to their side. She hadn't ignored his wounds like he expected, like would have made sense. She had shown him just as much attention as she had to Naruto. He didn't understand. Naruto was there for her, he watched her grow, he supported her, and Naruto saved Sakura from Sasuke's clutch! He fucking tried to kill her, and yet here she was, healing him. On the battlefield, she was determined to make it known that she loved him still. Just like Naruto had never given up on him as a friend, Sakura had never given up on loving him even though she had a hundred and one reason and then some to let him die right there. He knew he'd never be able to understand how he deserved Naruto and Sakura.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said, never breaking his gaze from his cherry blossom. I_'m so sorry, Sakura… please, look at me._ His heart stopped, he was sure of it. If he could move, he wouldn't be able to. He didn't know when, maybe it was during the chunin exams when she had been beat to hell and back again for him, maybe it was when she tried to throw herself in between him and Naruto on the hospital roof all those years ago, or maybe it was when she confessed the first time the night he left, but Sasuke needed her. He needed her to smile at him when he barely grunted at her, he needed her to annoy him and he needed her to bring life and love and laughter back into his heart.

"Sorry? For what?" She replied. A lump formed in her throat. Breathe.

"For everything I've done," he stated. _For breaking your heart when you've only ever cradled mine._

Naruto only watched. It was bittersweet, but it was pure. He loved them both so much. They were his best friends, they were his family. He couldn't help cracking a huge smile at the situation, they were together; Naruto was smiling, Sakura was crying and Sasuke was torturing her, just like good ole times. _C'mon, Sakura! This is as close to Teme confessing as it's going to get!_ Naruto thought.

"You'd better… Geez...," Sakura mustered through tears. _Stop! Stop crying!_ She tried to control herself but failed, she was the strongest kunoichi she knew, literally, but fate hated her! Sasuke had her heart completely, he managed to break it and mend it at the same time. She hated and loved him for it all at once!

"You are so much trouble! Stupid," she felt satisfied with the last addition, because maybe that would be all the insult she could ever muster to his face from her heart. She felt the same about her place in his eyes, but she loved him regardless. _At least he apologized._ That was enough for her for now.

Kakashi looked on from the cliff. Seeing them as they were he couldn't help but recall the first meeting of Team 7. What they had endured from that time so many years before to where they were now was not was Kakashi has expected, but to him, it made them all that much more precious. They were his kids, they were his family, too and he loved them each unconditionally.

"They've finally returned," smiling Kakashi pulled his Leaf headband back down over his Sharinganless eye. Looking back at them, he found a joker like smile planted on Naruto's face and a very welcome grin on Sasuke's. Sakura would dry her tears and join them soon. It was then that Kakashi knew the world was as it should be.

"Alright! Yeah! Let's go get everyone else out of this jutsu, I'm ready to snuggle Hinata!" Naruto roared, pumping his only fist in the air and gloating in his romantic bliss at the thought of Hinata's presence.

It wasn't until her amazing act of heroism and love that he realized he loved Sakura but he had misinterpreted his feelings. He loved Sakura like a sister, more than any actual brother could love a sister but that was the closest he could describe it. Sakura could never be replaced to him, she was his little cherry blossom whom he had watched grow into an amazing Sannin like Sasuke and himself. She never faulted in her devotion to Sasuke, not only as a teammate like Naruto but she never faulted in her love toward him and because of that Naruto admired her. Hinata, however, he could plant one on her!

Naruto's face shot red when he realized where his mind was going, looking at Sasuke and Sakura he thought maybe a little time alone wouldn't kill them. Gazing up, Naruto spotted Kakashi.

"Hey, before we do that, actually, I need to go see Kakashi about… um… a thing, hold on for just a few!" Naruto exclaimed before jumping up the cliff to Kakashi. Leaving Sasuke and Sakura to themselves for a few moments.

The tension grew immediately.

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><p>Cliffhanger! I felt a recap of 699 was a good place to start. Obviously, from here on, nothing will be supported from anything in the manga. I tried to keep it as close to the original for this chapter, though. From now on, it'll start to be my own ideas. I draw a lot of inspiration from fanart, especially now anything to do with Sarada. I hope to update a chapter a week. I'm thinking I'll have something probably around Wednesdays or Thursdays. Hope you liked it!<p> 


	2. Mending

A/N: Hey, mina! Thanks for all your follows, it's a great feeling to know my story is liked and is being read. Again, this is my first fan-fiction in several years, and I noticed I had some typos on my first chapter, I apologize. I am in college, so I'll be updating during my spare time, but I enjoy writing for pleasure so hopefully I can get a chapter a week published. I love hearing from you, reviews are also a great way to hint anything you might want to happen in the story, so if you have a suggestion, send it my way! If I use it, or find inspiration from it, I'll be sure to mention you in the author's note! Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter Two: Mend<p>

…_Did he seriously just leave me alone with Sasuke-kun? The jutsu doesn't seem like something that should wait, Naruto! _Sakura thought. She was stunned frozen; Sasuke gazed as her through a side glance, an expression of deep thought was written across his face but Sakura didn't notice. He closed his eyes for just a moment then attempted to get up, this caught Sakura's attention.

He fumbled; the blood loss and general drain on his body caught him off guard. _How did the Dobe just get up so quickly like that? _He questioned, but then again, it was Naruto. In a few hours and a couple of ramen bowls, he'd be at his normal energy level again, even without an arm.

Sakura darted to his side. It was instinctive to her, for him and Naruto her body would move before she knew was going on. She quickly slid her left arm under his right shoulder and supported his massive, muscular frame with her tiny body. Funny, she never felt small, but next to Sasuke, Naruto or Sai, she felt fragile and tiny. Part of her hated it, she furrowed her brows. The idea of being anything less than enough for them disgusted her. Then again, she liked how she felt under Sasuke's arm. She was supposed to be the one supporting him but somehow she felt like she was being protected… it was a welcome feeling. _Wait… I'm touching… _Sakura realized her thoughts might have been going on for longer than necessary when she looked up to see what level of irritated Sasuke's face would present.

Her doe-like eyes widened when she failed to find annoyance but, dare she think it, relief. Her heart skipped a beat, or four, she wasn't sure. He was looking away from her, but not far enough that she couldn't see his onyx orbs glazed over with a mix of discomfort at her closeness and relief at her help. She even thought she was starting to go crazy because she spotted a haze of red on his cheeks.

"Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry. I just reacted, I didn't want you to fall," Sakura said, placing her right hand on his chest to steady him more even though he didn't need it." Sasuke didn't pull away, she didn't know it, but he welcomed her touch.

In the midst of his stumble, he was pissed at the realization he, the surviving Uchiha, was going to fall over in front of his team, but especially in front of her. _…my team? _Sasuke recognized his wording; he was becoming possessive of them. He remained slightly stern; it wasn't the time or place to ponder the depth of his true feelings, but it fucking surprised, that was for sure. He hardly thought about them in his time away, he thought he had truly severed the ties. It was just before Sakura weaseled her body around his that Sasuke realized he hadn't severed a damn thing. He had only buried them and damn it had they grown in the soil of his soul. He was losing his ability to pretend his composure was flawless, and truthfully, he wasn't sure he minded.

That was when she caught him. He was startled; it didn't show, there was not jump or gasp, but his eyebrows rose ever so slightly. He was sure he was too heavy for her, but she had good footing, a strong grip and a gentle touch. Damnation, she was so careful with him it made his heart ache. This one gesture was the most obvious representation of her devotion to him he had ever witnessed. She was tired, too; he had seen it on her face when she first arrived to heal him and Naruto from his stupidity. She was emotionally drained, physically warn (she summoned Katsuyu for the entire Shinobi Alliance and infused her chakra to heal every person,) and pushed her limits to get him back to right dimension, this hadn't been easy for her either. Sakura should be passed out, but there she was, again, rushing to his side.

For the half second that she was looking down, Sasuke glanced at her tucked under his shoulder. _Why do you love me so much? No matter how often I push you away, you always fight for me._ When he noticed her head turning upwards, he averted his gaze. He couldn't look in her eyes, he felt too ashamed. He wasn't ready to really have the person who loved him most in this world see him as he was, even though she already had and he knew she didn't care. He had the burden of his past on his shoulders, and although he already had her heart, he wasn't ready to admit it to himself.

When she apologized for catching him, his eyebrow twitched. _Why is she apologizing?_ Then the gentle placement of her hand on his bare chest made him stiffen. As if he wasn't already aware of her soft body pressed up against his that hand just sent him way over his personal boundary line. _Fuck, since when Sakura get curves? _He practically rolled his eyes, _since when did I notice Sakura? _He closed his eyes like usual to block out the world. Sasuke inhaled and gripped Sakura's upper arm in appreciation and recognition of her support. Then, through half lidded eyes he looked at her with an expression of ease.

"It's fine, Sakura. Thank you," he said and motioned for a nearby boulder to rest on.

Sakura nodded, stunned, but she attempted to control the obviousness of her emotion around him. _This is going to be hard,_ she thought in regards to keeping an emotional check around him.

They walked side by side to the boulder where Sakura eased Sasuke down, her hand lingering on his chest before she withdrew it. He saw the look in her eye; she was lost in her own thoughts for that moment. He couldn't entirely read her, which he didn't like. He liked knowing what was going through her head, but this look… pained, numb, and isolated… did he do that? She shouldn't feel like any of those things! He was becoming more irritated by the thought.

"Dobe! Are you ready yet?!" Sasuke scowled. What could he possibly have needed to talk to Kakashi about for this long?

Naruto looked down; he said a brief comment to Kakashi, then jumped the entire gap down.

"Don't get so pissy with me, U-chi-ha," Naruto exclaimed, "Hai, I'm ready." Naruto offered his hand to Sasuke to pull him up, which Sasuke took, and they began the seal to release the jutsu.

**[A/N: I'm going to avoid that whole lengthy Sasuke POV from Chapter 699, so if you haven't read it, which I can't imagine why, please read Chapter 699 from Naruto! From here on, I won't be following anything. Just my imagination which probably won't include the construction of freaking New York in Leaf or a perfectly harmonious ending, I still like my action. Thanks!]**

**Time Lapse: Jutsu was released, the story will pick up in Leaf. Everyone's reconnected and is in a bustle to reconstruct.**

Everyone's trip back to what was left of their homes was troublesome to say the least. There was the wounded, the defeated, the broken, and the tired. However, there was hope. They had survived, perhaps without limbs or loved ones, but they were still in this world. So, with heavy hearts, the Shinobi Alliance parted ways to begin anew.

A few weeks into the reconstruction, things were getting back to normal, more or less. The entire Leaf Village was a giant construction zone, surprisingly enough the majority of the buildings survived. A portion had collapsed and several buildings had been severely damaged, but total destruction had not happened. Most of the attention didn't need to be focused on infrastructure of Leaf, but the shinobi. Sakura couldn't catch a break and with Tsunade too busy with her duties as Hokage, the hospital was left in her care. Sakura sat back in her chair in her office they scraped together the day they returned. She recalled the disarray everyone endured in those first few days back. Sasuke became a ghost, she hardly saw him. Him and Naruto had been admitted to the hospital, consulted for new arms, and after about three days of recovery, had been given permission, by Sakura, to leave the hospital. It'd been two weeks since, and she hadn't seen him since.

Naruto popped in about once a day, each time with Hinata, which delighted Sakura. She was so happy for them! Honestly, she felt relieved that Naruto had found someone who could love him as passionately as he could love. Naruto was irreplaceable to her, she would die for Naruto and his happiness meant the world to her. The way he looked at Hinata, it was bliss. Suddenly, though, she felt a sting in her chest. Funny, she was so ecstatic for him, truly, but the thought of it made her chest tight. She was still leaning back her chair when she looked out her window from her third floor office. It was beautiful outside. A light breeze, plenty of sunshine, she could hear the bustle from the streets. Happiness surrounded her but she could feel the pain growing. So desperately had she been trying to push it away since they returned, but she couldn't. Naruto's growing affection for Hinata reminded her of something she'd never have with Sasuke.

_God,_ she thought, _I really am pathetic. He's made clearer than clear what I am to him, but I just can't stop loving him. _A lump formed in her throat and her eyes stung but tears didn't fall. She reaffirmed her decision, _I can't stop myself from loving you, Sasuke, but I won't persist anymore. At least you know. _She closed her eyes, content in accepting her position as a tool for him to start a new life. The chest tightness didn't dissipate, it spread.

She grunted just a little and bit her bottom lip, resting her head on her open palm. "Ugh, just stop...," she whispered, unaware Naruto had stopped outside her door. He had seen her leaning back in deep thought and decided to wait outside her door before busting in. It was when she grunted that he put two and two together. It wasn't hard for him to read her, she was his sister, for lack of a better word. He frowned, his ocean blue eyes swimming with helplessness and sadness. He would have punched the wall, but that would have given him away, and he would prefer to leave as quietly as he had come in. However, it was during his brief thoughts that he failed to notice Sakura had gotten up from her desk and was in the doorway.

"Naruto? How long have you been here?" She asked, her big emerald eyes shimmered, but in a manner that gave her pain away. His chest pained and again his eyebrows furrowed just a smidge. He had watched her struggle for years with her conflict over Sasuke. Now, he was back, she had said and done all she should and could, and for nothing. Sasuke had accepted Naruto as his best friend, but why couldn't he at least acknowledge Sakura with more than a "sorry" and "thank you?" _Sakura... tch..._ He thought.

Putting his arm behind his head like the usual Naruto, he planted a very convincing grin on his face and closed his eyes as he said, "Hey, Sakura-chan! I just wanted to stop by to make sure you had eaten something! I know the hospital is really busy still, so it'd be just like you to get too caught up in your work and forget to eat."

She smiled, he was always looking out for her. She grabbed his arm and locked hers with his, then began leading them down the hallway. Her step had a little pep in it and she briefly tilted her head on his shoulder. His facial expression was at first surprised, and he tripped a little when she began dragging him forward, but once he got in step with her and saw her mood had lifted a little, he smiled and felt just good.

"Naruto, after your many proclamations of love for me and coming here especially for my well being is too suspicious! You need to consider Hinata's feelings about this!" Naruto opened his mouth but Sakura cut him off, "I'm serious! I can take care of myself! Now, if you're so worried about lunch, go ask her!" She released his arm, stopped in front of the elevator and put her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face.

"Sakura-channnn, I have! Hinata and I just ate ramen! She knows I really, really, really like her! You're still my best friend though," he said behind a puppy dog face.

She giggled, "Alright, I just don't want you messing this up! Now shoo, I have things to do!" She motioned her hands in a swishing way toward the elevator.

He grinned, "I won't mess this up, believe it!" He didn't even look at the elevator, he jumped out the window, onto the roof, waved back at Sakura and on to the next roof. She watched him for as long as she could see him. Sighing, Sakura checked with the nurses and staff. To her surprise, things had officially slowed down and for the first time in three weeks, she could leave early.

Gathering her personal items, she walked out of the hospital. _Huh. What do I do now? _She walked for several minutes when stopped at a bench to sit. After a few moments of relaxing, she started to notice where she was, what she didn't notice was who was watching her from the trees.

_We always end up here, don't we, Sakura?_

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><p>AN: Hey! I'm sorry this one is kinda... a lot? I wrote half on one day and half on the other. I prefer setting up my story before I just jump right into the romance. So on that note, I would like to formally announce that the romance will really kick off next chapter! I don't plan on getting them too out of character, but as we all know, Sasuke does become capable of love enough to marry her, bang her and have Sarada, to put it lightly! Sorry about the bluntness. Anyway, I'll have a new chapter sometime this week! Don't expect anything at least until Wednesday. -Tsubaki


	3. Confession

A/N: Hey, guys! It never fails, after I upload the chapter I notice all my typos. So I apologize in advance you notice I forgot words or mispelled something. I often speed type these chapters between work or class or late at night, so I my fingers are flying in hopes of getting it done. Again, things are going to be a little different now. I'm no longer going by the manga, to an extent. This is my version of what's going on between Sakura and Sasuke after 699 but before he leaves, if I even make him do so. I also like the idea of still having some action, a peaceful world is nice, but makes for a boring story. Also, I'm pondering the idea of Itachi being alive, but that will be a while from now. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>[This is a little bit of what Sasuke was doing in the three weeks back]<strong>

Sasuke had three weeks to himself, and to his surprise, Naruto didn't pester him. Not to say that Naruto didn't come around, but Sasuke didn't find it annoying. He welcomed Naruto into his presence, he actually found himself a little disconnected that Naruto didn't follow him around 24/7, but with his new infatuation with the Hyuuga girl Sasuke couldn't blame him. Naruto deserved love and Sasuke felt pretty damn good for him.

When Naruto wasn't around him, though, he had finally allowed himself to think about how he felt. He thought about Kakashi and Naruto, how protective they were of him, how bonded they felt. He knew Kakashi was ninja enough to let Sasuke go, but he hadn't. He kept faith in Sasuke when he had given Kakashi no reason to, especially considering he had the intent to kill Sakura in front of Kakashi. When he recollected that memory, it had made him cringe. He had poisoned himself for revenge on the innocent, both Itachi and Leaf, and in that confusion made mistakes that would haunt him forever. Although the ties Kakashi and Naruto held with him confused him, they held no comparison to the confusion he felt when he thought about Sakura's devotion.

He had never "really" welcomed her. During their time as team seven, she was in his way. Her annoying crush and weak nature ticked him off. He questioned her motives to being a shinobi, he questioned her abilities, and he damn well didn't think she deserved to be on the same team as Naruto and him. Still, in the chunin exams she had been braver beyond his imagination. He remembered the way she looked, ragged as hell, broken but determined. He didn't quite understand why he reacted so protectively that day, but he was ready to slaughter the sound nin that put her through that. Never did he want to see her so injured, especially over him.

He also thought about her protecting him when Gaara had lost his mind. They both knew she didn't stand a chance, but for him, she stood her ground with only a kunai and blocked Gaara's way to Sasuke. She always shielded him, caught him, picked him up. No matter how many times he rejected her, she just kept shining bright for him.

It was during the three weeks that Sasuke thought less and less about Naruto and Kakashi and more and more about Sakura. He admired her. She had trained with a sannin like Naruto and himself, which made him smirk at the thought of his whole team being the new generation sannin. She had surpassed Tsunade in medical ninjutsu and was currently head medic at the Leaf Hospital. Her strength was terrifying, her abilities flawless, and her kindness knew no boundaries. He didn't know why she loved him, but he was glad. The idea of her love for him made him swell with something. He was relaxed at the idea of her, he had a essence of home when he was with her; he felt safe with Sakura. The day Sakura left the hospital early was the same day Sasuke acknowledged his feelings. In the end, Sasuke didn't find her annoying because she was weak, he found her annoying because of her love. Something he thought he lost the day he lost his clan, something he thought he would never be capable of, something he didn't want anything to do with, she had showered him in for years without an ounce of it in return. He didn't know how to approach it, but Sasuke had realized in the midst of his new struggles to accept himself he would Sakura more than ever, and he would have to learn to love her back.

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><p><strong>[Present day, back to the end of chapter two]<strong>

_We always end up back here, don't we, Sakura? _Sasuke thought while looking at her from the trees. He had a relaxed facial expression. Mouth in a simple line, legs crossed on a branch, and his head leaned back against the trunk. He was just watching her. He hadn't expected to see her out of the hospital for another week, but with her skills she must have flown through the whole village and worked over without realizing there was no one else for her to tend to. The nurses and doctors could actually do their job now that the severely complicated procedures had been completed by her. _She probably did everything. Tch. Too stubborn to let anyone help her._

His eyes narrowed, she had laid down on the bench in the same position he left her in the night he left. His chest tightened. Was she thinking about him?

She was mindle_ssly staring at the sky watching the clouds barely move. She finally let herself think about him. Was he okay? Did his arm hurt? Was he really going to be able to move forward or would he revert and attack the village? Was he eating properly? Maybe she at least drop food off at his apartment._ From there, she pillaged her memories of times when they were genin. She remembered watching him in pain, watching the hatred grow. She felt pain herself, and hatred with herself for not being able to help him. A cloud rolled over the Sun and with the sudden darkness, she flashed back to the war, her body instinctively activated her chakra seal and the purple lines flourished over her. She shot up, eyes wide, the picture of the ten tails vividly scanned her mind.

She gasped a sharp loud inhale, clutching a kunai on her side. Sasuke faltered at the sight, what had just happened?! His sharingan activated in reaction to her and found his way next to her in a second.

"What's wrong?!" He demanded, taking her right arm in his grasp, looking her dead in the eyes with his multi-color orbs spinning.

She whipped her head in his direction, her eyes like marbles, huge, round and inspirational, but frightened. His grasp tightened, wanting to take away anything but pleasure and happiness in her face.

"Sasuke...kun?" She whispered, "How did you…"

He didn't loosen his grip nor his stance, "Are you okay?" he enunciated each word sternly.

"Hai," she looked confused then realized her situation. Looking down at her hands she examined her chakra designs then made an effort to deactivate her seal. Sasuke was watching her like a hawk. Upon seeing her seal retreat, he slowly let go then straightened his stance next to her, finally breathing at a normal pace and deactivating his own sharingan. _Huh. The sharingan just activated… like father's did when mother…._ he pushed the thought aside, focusing on Sakura again.

She was beginning to fuss a little, he could sense her discomfort. A smile faker than Sai's old personality planted itself on her face.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke! I don't know what came over me. I," Sakura piped but he cut her off.

"Yes, you do. A seal like that doesn't just _accidentally _activate, Sakura," he said matter-of-factly to her, "What's going on? You look beat to hell and back. Your eyes are bloodshot, you don't look like you've slept in days, and," her stomach growled, "that."

Her mouth went ajar, _He's….worried? ….No. This is just him being annoyed that his teammate is anything less than up to par. Pull it together, Haruno! _

"I have responsibilities, now. The village was a nightmare, shinobi were in parts; it's my job to get Leaf back to 100%. I don't have time for sleep or food," her stomach growled in return, arguing her defense. She blushed a little, looking not quite down, but more south of his eyes at the sound of her hunger. She had lost her leverage.

"Hn," he muttered, grabbing her wrist and dragging her down the sidewalk. He was going to watch her eat if he had to, but she would eat. Then, sleep would come after. His strides were long and swift, she stumbled forward when he pulled her so abruptly. Then had to do quick double steps to keep up with him. Her hair was just long enough now for her to have pulled it back into a messy french braid that she had pulled to her side with her Leaf headband in its usual spot atop her head. She was wearing a v-neck red blouse without sleeves, a black skirt that went to her mid-thigh which waved in the wind but she still had her usual sparring black short under it, not that you could tell. The newest addition was her white lab coat, the sleeves were rolled up to mid-forearms and her shoes, although still shinobi appropriate, were pink and strappy. Her hair bellowed in the breeze, as did her skirt and lab coat.

She didn't argue with him, she would be sure to stay on his good side, but she would also keep in mind that to do that would mean to have a backbone when talking to him.

"Where are we going, Sasuke?" she asked.

_Sasuke? That's a little too formal for my taste…_ he thought when he didn't hear the "-kun" after his name.

"Food, you can't do anything properly if you haven't eaten," he claimed. _You're too busy looking after everyone else._

She just looked at him through their walking. Why did he care? Not like they had a mission to go on, she'd eat when she had time to worry about it.

They stopped at a side cafe. Tomato dishes were the speciality. Sasuke wasn't sure if it'd still be open, or standing for that matter, but it had survived. It needed some roof repairs and new furniture, but it had enough to still function. They took a seat at the bar.

"Welcome to Toma-san! What can I…" the waitress chimed but halted when she saw Sasuke. It wasn't anything new to him. They should be scared. Word had gotten out that he was with Orchimaru and the truth about the Uchiha Clan. Of course rumors started over why he and Naruto were missing arms, not that the rumors were too far off from the truth. The waitress's eyes screamed fear, her jaw quivered and she faulted in her footing. Sasuke just sat there, eyes closed, hoping she'd at least continue the question for Sakura's sake.

"What? Haven't you ever seen an armless shinobi? Geez," Sakura snapped, "He lost because he was fighting for ya know, the world." Her eyes narrowed in annoyance with the waitress's reaction to him. Sakura knew the reasoning, but she was here and wasn't going to take that.

Sasuke smirked. He didn't open his eyes, but the bite in Sakura's tone was wonderful. He wouldn't be able to comprehend her devotion, but he could now accept it. And by God, did he love that she loved him. His smirk faded. He loved that she loved him but she was still without anything from him in return.

"Sakura, it's alright. I'm used to it," he cooed. The waitress looked between the two. The man she feared was trying to calm the vexed medic who had a reputation of an angel at the hospital and woman she welcomed was staring poisoned kunai at her. Stunned, the waitress remained a few feet away and finished her sentence, "Um, what can I get for you two?"

Sakura relaxed, she looked down at the menu and said, "Two shrimp steamers, miso soup, edamame, a cup of black tea and a cup of sake, please," without looking back up at the waitress.

Sasuke answered, "Grilled tomatoes, steamed rice and green tea." Then the waitress scurried to the back for the preparation.

He didn't feel like initiating the conversation but Sakura's outburst back on the bench had his attention more so than he would like. Right when he was about to speak, Sakura opened her mouth.

"I see the war," she said while looking down at her hands in her lap, "I see Karuma leaving Naruto lifeless, I see the ten tails wiping everyone out, I see Kaguya destroying our lives… most of all, I see…," she hesitated.

"Tell me" he questioned.

She took a deep breath and looked at him. He had opted for a new hand band that didn't reflect any affiliation to Leaf. It pushed part of his hair in between his eyes. His shirt was bigger and you could tell he didn't quite know what to do with his one arm. Where he would normally cross his arms, he didn't have that option. So the larger shirt helped him leave his one arm dangling, or wherever he put it, without much evidence of where it was. He had a cool expression, always watching her. She briefly considered not telling him, but perhaps it would help her sleep at night if she told him.

"I see you. All the time. I see you failing to make it to me in time before I run out of chakra. I see you mangled on a boulder because of Naruto. I see you manic and lost. I see you hopeless. I see you broken," she was becoming frantic. Her breath was quickening, her face was heating up and her throat felt like it was closing. She couldn't control herself, she loved him so much. She had gone three weeks without seeing him, without going to look for him, but not once had she really stopped thinking about him. Her hands were becoming clammy. She didn't need to him to love her back, so she told her herself, she just wanted to know the depth of love she felt for him. Not telling him was like not breathing. She need to tell him so she could live at least a somewhat normal life.

His heart race picked up. He wasn't ready for her confession. He was expecting it to be him, yes, but he thought she'd only give him bare minimal or hide it. The waitress came back and slide their food down in front of them. She left without a word, having heard part of the conversation and sensing the tension, she wanted nothing more to do with the two shinobi in her restaurant.

Sasuke never broke his gaze from Sakura's eyes, which were burning with love, passion and a glimpse of sorrow.

She hadn't been silent long, but she had to say it. "Sasuke. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable," she said looking into his chest, "loving you this much wasn't exactly on my agenda when we graduated the academy." He listened intently. "I had a crush you, a huge one," she scoffed at herself and partially rolled her eyes. "But what I wasn't expecting was for it to grow." She looked back up into his eyes with the same passion as before, "I do love you, but I love you enough to let you find your own happiness." She smiled. It was small, but genuine. Her eyes squinted with it and there was glistened tears threatening to fall over that never did. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun, so sorry." She didn't have to say it for him to understand the meaning behind her last proclamation.

Sakura was apologizing for her annoying love. She was apologizing for the loss of his family. She was apologizing for Itachi. She was so empathic with his feelings it literally destroyed him from the inside out. Then, she simply sipped some sake and took a bite out of a shrimp steamer.

_Sakura. You won't even ask for a response in return? _And she didn't. Sakura expected nothing out of him. She just wanted for it to be heard. Not that he was sure he had one to begin with, but she deserved something. He took a gulp of green tea.

"Sakura." He stated.

_Please, I don't need you to answer. I know what you'll say._ "Sasuke, it's okay. You don't have…," but she was interrupted.

"I know. I didn't before, but I know now. I know how much you love me. I'm sorry. I just… I don't know if I can love you back. It's not because of you!," he was worried he would offend her, "It's just, I'm not good. Right now. I need time."

She had an expressionless face, it wasn't harsh but it wasn't happy. She just let his words sink in.

"Then I'll wait," was all she replied and smiled an actual smile, which had successfully convinced him that she'd be okay. _Hn. She'll learn to let go and love someone else with time. _He was content with their conversation. He didn't burdened to love her in return. Actually, he felt more at ease around her. Confident that she'd move on, but still comfortable in her current thoughts toward him. He went to take another bite out of his grilled tomato, pleased that he finally looked at Sakura as an equal teammate.

_I told you, but you just don't understand, do you, Sasuke? _Sakura thought while drinking her tea. At the conclusion of their meal, they parted ways. It was civil, a courteous "thank you for eating with me," "we should catch up in a few days," and "see you later," was about the extent of their goodbyes.

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><p>They didn't see each other for about a week, when Naruto and Sasuke came back into the hospital for the procedure to replace their arms. Sakura was the head medic over the operations, both successful and a week after that, the boys were released from the hospital. Sakura had lunch with Hinata almost every day and had grown close to the Hyuuga. Life was becoming more and more normal, it had been a month since the war had ended. Things were looking up outside of her emotional life until one night when the entirety of team seven had decided to have dinner together.<p>

"I think I'll be leaving soon," Sasuke said through the conversation of Sai, Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi, "I don't know how long I'll be gone."

Sakura's heart stopped and her vision went black.

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><p>AN: This chapter is a little longer and I'm really not satisfied with it but it's done. I apologize for the typos! -Tsu


	4. haruno

_A/N: Sorry I skipped a week! As you know, I'm in college and our semester is quickly coming to an end so I'm rather pressed for time as we get closer to the holidays! Speaking of, for those of you who celebrate it, Happy Early Thanksgiving! As far as this chapter goes, I'm typing this up off the top my head so I hope you enjoy. As always, I love hearing from you, just a quick comment about how you like the story or how you'd like to see something happen really motivates me! 3 Tsu_

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><p>Everything was going great. Sasuke was actually talking to Sai, Naruto wasn't being a complete idiot, and Kakashi and Sakura were having meaningful conversation. He just had to ruin it, didn't he?! The moment he opened his mouth and his confession escaped, she was certain the world had stopped. LEAVE?! He had just gotten back, they were all finally finding a sense of normalcy in the world. How could he? How dare he?!<p>

Apparently the world hadn't stopped, Sakura had just blacked out, although still seated upright.

"Saku…Sakur…. Sakura-chan!" Naruto belted. She jumped slightly in response, finally blinking. She didn't know how long she'd been staring off into space but her eyes were wide open and dry. She realized her eyes stung a little and nonchalantly wiped under her right eye at an angle with her index finger.

Sakura looked at Naruto, she wore an expression of shock, one eyebrow slightly higher than the other.

"Hai, Naruto?" She replied, practically screaming mentally that he'd tell her she just spaced out and Sasuke hadn't just admitted he was leaving.

"You, uh, okay? D'ja catch anything Teme said?" He asked, looking mildly concerned for his best friend.

Sakura' s mouth gaped a little, she thought about his question then averted her gaze to Kakashi and Sai, who were looking at her with expressions of concern and confusion themselves. Had Sasuke said more? How much had she missed? She took a silent gulp of air, trying to speak with control.

"I… I guess not. I thought all he said was," she looked at Sasuke who was blankly staring at her, "I thought all you said was you were leaving," she stated. Her eyebrows had relaxed, she making the conscious effort to not give herself away.

He studied a little longer, right when he opened his mouth to speak, Kakashi interjected.

"Sakura, that was 10 minutes ago," was all Kakashi said through a cool expression, already seeing through her like glass. Naruto and Sasuke still needed practice when it came to understanding Sakura, but Kakashi read her like one of his Ichi Ichi books: with as much as ease as breathing.

She found reserve in Kakashi's gaze. As her first sensei, like Naruto and Sasuke, she, too, had a bond with him that the others wouldn't understand. Sakura never connected to her parents, especially after finding out her true family history. It was Kakashi who shouldered her, who protected her; it was her bond to him that kept her anchored. He wasn't 100% her sensei but he wasn't 100% a father figure. He was more like a doting uncle that took the responsibility as a parent because she needed him to be there for her. After a few moments, she felt at ease. She was collected and Kakashi saw the wave of relief rush over her face.

_There. You can do this,_ Kakashi thought, practically convinced that Sakura knew what was going through his mind.

With complete confidence, Sakura bounced back. Although it was an act, she could have fooled even Tsunade. She smirked and let out a small giggle.

"Sorry! I was thinking about something potentially super serious back in my office. It's a long story but when Sasuke said 'leaving' it reminded me of what I might have left at the hospital," she bite her bottom lip and looked diagonal to the ground making it look as if she were still concerned over her 'situation' at the hospital. She exhaled and smirked again, looking back at Sasuke.

"What was it you said?" she asked, eyes glistening with curiosity.

Sasuke was stuck, he really wasn't sure if she was being honest or covering up. His eyebrow twitched, not wanting to think too hard about it. He let his shoulders relax, inhaled and resumed a normal state.

"I said I was thinking about leaving soon," he looked at her, "I need to find out who I am. I did a lot of things while I was away the first time. I lost myself," he looked outside the restaurant into the busy night street of Leaf. "I'd rather not go into detail, but I feel that I can't move on like everyone else until I've seen the world through my new eyes. I can't have a future until I redeem, or at least come to terms, with my past," his eyes were glazing over with memories. Memories team seven wasn't a part of, they could all tell.

A lump got caught in her throat. She couldn't deny him this. She couldn't try to stop him like before. When he left the first time, he was going to destruction, and every bit of her attempt to block his way was in the right. This, though, was his way to redemption, something she wouldn't understand and something she wasn't a part of, like always. God, how she hated this! She hated it so damn much! Why was it always Kakashi or Naruto who was able to be a part of his life but she was just a bench warmer?! Sakura knew Kakashi and Naruto were rooting for him, she already saw it on their stern faces as she looked at them. Her face hardened, her lips went into a piercing line. At least Sai looked indifferent, but still not as indifferent as she would have liked; even the fact that Sai was being able to show more emotion without trying now pissed her off because he was looking at her and she knew Sai knew what was really in Sakura's heart.

She looked back at Sasuke, sickening at the look of pain and confusion on his face. Her jaw was trembling with disgust, loathing the idea of what she was about to say.

"When do you leave?" she asked though gritted teeth.

Her voice broke his trance; he looked back at her and leaned his chair on the back two legs, thinking of his answer.

"I have to get permission from Tsunade and the elders first, but hopefully within the month. The faster, the better," he exclaimed, then taking a swallow of sake.

She let the words sink in. There was nothing she could respond with or do that would make the situation better or help her heart stop hurting. She was feeling the loneliness she felt when he left the first time.

Three days before Sasuke left the first time, Sakura had found out that her 'parents' were actually hired caretakers for Sakura until she was 14. Her mother's frustration and father's lack of compassion over the years hadn't been typical, like she thought, and so she was right; they were acts. Haruno wasn't just a last name; it was a forgotten clan from the northern lands in the Fire Country. One Tsunade had failed to mention that she, too, was a distant member of. Sakura was the surviving daughter of the head, who had perished with the rest of the clan when a chakra disease infected their lands. Just like Sasuke, Sakura was the only one left of her people, and just like him, she felt alone and isolated. The secrecy, the lies, everything about her was almost an exact reflection of his and Naruto's! Only, they didn't know.

The truth came bombarding on her like a rock. She had come 'home' to an empty house, her 'parents' had already left, and in their place stood an elder and three ANBU members. It took about an hour to explain, it was the day Sakura understood why she was able to control her chakra so well. Like that of the Hyuuga and Uchiha, the Haruno clan trait was unmatched chakra control. However, what had been their treasure was also their demise. She had learned their clan wasn't large in numbers, her people had a habit of breaking off and with this came diminishing numbers of true Haruno. Tsunade was the granddaughter of her father's great uncle. Due to Tsunade's mixed blood, she trained for strength with her Haruno roots, which is what lead her to position as sannin. This familial discovery is also why, upon the return of Tsunade to Leaf, Sakura became her apprentice. Now, however, Sakura's ability to control her chakra is her ultimate evidence of being the Haruno head. As far as her 'parents' were concerned, they left without a trace. Truthfully, Sakura felt almost indifferent. She never felt a bond to them, she was different. It pained her to think of all the times Ino or TenTen had scolded her for not listening to them or for avoiding home, now she understood why she didn't want to be around them. After she had learned the truth, Leaf allowed her to stay in the house, to keep up pretenses if she had so chosen and that plans for Tsunade returning were in progress.

Sakura felt the chill of loneliness more than she ever had before. Then, both Sasuke and Naruto left her. She had years of isolation to be alone with her new truth, years to go on missions without company, years of pain that she hadn't told her team because with this new beginning she thought she could finally tell them! Now, he was leaving again.

Sakura put her hands firmly on the table and stood, she locked her eyes with the plates.

"Well, I have to get back to the hospital. I have that thing to attend to," she stated then looked at Kakashi, Sai and Naruto with a smile. When she got to Sasuke, her smile faded. He locked eyes with her, curious beyond reason what was going on in her head.

"If you need help, with Tsunade, I can be pretty persuasive with her," her kind offer didn't match her expression, "She can be pretty unreasonable at times, especially now that her term is coming to an end." Sasuke nodded in thanks, never leaving her gaze.

Then, as simply as she had come, she walked out. The four of them a little taken aback at her sudden departure, she hadn't eaten much.

Naruto sat in silence, then he looked down at her plate. His eyes widen and his goofy nature returned, "Ah! Waitttttt, who's gonna pay for Sakuraaa-channn?! She didn't even leave any money!" he wailed with his arms in the air. Sai shook his head and said Naruto should do it because he left Sakura for Hinata. This started a huge, loud debate between the two that Kakashi and Sasuke blocked mentally.

"She still loves you, you know that right?" Kakashi said softly to Sasuke.

"Hn," Sasuke replied.

"Sasuke, I understand you have to do this, but don't you think you could have been… a little more delicate with her in this matter?" Kakashi's eye squinted in distaste for how Sasuke handled his execution.

"She's a sannin, Kakashi. She's surpassed you and I don't see you asking for delicacy," he reputed.

Kakashi sighed. "I know her skills as a ninja, Sasuke, but perhaps what you'll learn on your journey is that people are human before they are shinobi. She's been through more than you know." (Kakashi's the only one that knows Sakura's past, fyi.)

Sasuke glared at him. "Like what? So she trained with Tsunade and had some good missions. She wouldn't understand like you or Naruto. There's no point in telling her in a different manner just because she thinks she loves me. Her parents love her. Her friends love her. She's my teammate, nothing more."

Kakashi stared at him with a blank expression. "You're a fool," and with that, Kakashi got up, squinted a smile under his mask at Naruto and Sai, and flashed away.

Naruto blinked at Kakashi's now sudden departure. He had his hands around Sai's throat in a playfully irritated manner, his big blue orbs looked down at the table again.

"Kakashi-sensei!" he exclaimed upon realizing he hadn't left money either. Sai snickered and went to speak but Naruto gritted his teeth and blurted, "Not a word!"

Sasuke sat in silence. Why was Kakashi so adamant about Sakura? Did he really not know something? He frowned.

"Dobe. Shut up," he said to Naruto. Before Naruto could argue, Sasuke spoke again.

"When was the last time you saw Sakura's parents?"

Naruto looked annoyed, letting Sai go, who then straightened his clothes, Naruto closed his eyes and was going to confidently answer, but as quickly as Naruto's index finger found its way upright, it curled. Naruto opened his eyes and took on a look of thought. Thinking harder, his expression hardened.

"Well. Erm. I haven't. I mean, I know what they look like, but that was because I saw them a long, long time ago. Like before you…," Naruto replied. He looked at Sasuke, "Why are you asking anyway?"

Sasuke met Naruto's eyes with a cold look. "I was just curious." Naruto's face slowly lit up and his mouth curled into a cat's mouth.

"C'mon! I know you like her! Scared to meet her dad?" Naruto started to tease, poking Sasuke's side. Sasuke closed his eyes and inhaled.

Bam! Sasuke struck Naruto in the face. "No, baka. I just think it's strange."

Naruto rubbed his face and muttered curses at Sasuke under his breath. "If you're so curious, why don't you go see if they're home? She still lives in the same place."

"Hn," Sasuke said. Then, without Naruto even comprehending what had happened, Sasuke was gone.

"…Argh! There's no relying on these people anymore! Sai, at leas…," Naruto began when he looked up from his position on the floor to find Sai had left him a picture. It was a self portrait of Sai flipping Naruto off. Naruto was left with the bill!

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><p><em>Next Chapter: Sasuke discovers the truth about Sakura Haruno! <em>


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